How are you, really?

I looked at my inbox this morning and had no idea where to start.

So I’m writing to you instead to check in with each other.

How are you, friend? Really.

Some clients I’m hearing from are making steady progress, feeling driven and focused. Others, many small business owners especially in the restaurant world, are exhausted and struggling through winter hopeful to stay afloat until spring. Most say it depends on the day.

It made me realize that unless we ask, and take the time and care to listen for the answer, it can be hard to tell what’s happening with people. We can make assumptions based on social media posts or short text volleys, when the truth is a bigger conversation.

In effort to be here and ready to listen to your full answer, I’m sharing mine.

How am I?

On the plus side, I’m happy about my 2022 theme: Ease & Satisfaction. They encapsulate what feels worth my attention this year, and how I want to feel at the end of each day.

These are not, to be honest, what I feel right now. I may have mentioned my inbox. My to-do list is also not the tidy three bullets I encourage publicly.

This week I’ve felt dread. I want to do it all well and be responsive, but instead my eyes dart from message to message because most are not a quick and easy fix. They take measured thought and when I’m spinning thoughtfulness has left my brain. In response, I downloaded an app on my phone that is an unending series of Wordle puzzles. I may have stopped writing this to play along with my other vice, hot chocolate.

So how I am is a mix of satisfied and frazzled. Needing downtime and intermittently taking it. Enjoying bursts of productivity and insight with repeats of the Great British Bake-off.

Mostly, I have to say, I’m really proud for not giving myself the hard time I once did.

When I feel overwhelmed, I immediately tell myself: take the time and when you come back it’ll seem much more straightforward. That’s always the case. I know myself well enough now to lean into the bursts and to trust that another will return within a day or two. It’s worth the wait.

And since no post from me is complete without tips, I’ll share this one: trust yourself.

Trust your need for downtime, because processing and thinking are happening under the surface. Plus, very likely you work quickly when all synapses are firing (admit it, you have moments of A student-efficiency) and will get a surprising amount accomplished when energy returns.

Lean into your own energy bursts!

Now, it’s only fair that this is a two-way check in. When I ask, I really want your answer.

How are you, friend?

I’m here to listen.

Are you ready for the fall?

Back to school photos rolling in while some are still on vacation? It can only mean one thing:

Pressure.

I mean fall, but really it’s the same.

My September calendar is filling fast, and the attempt at “normal” over-scheduling with a side of mask mandates is not good for my anxiety.

How are you holding up?

Specifically, what routines and activities are most serving you right now? In times of transition, doubling down on those usually is the best way to maintain grounded.

If it’s your weekday hot chocolate at 11am like it is for me, then cheers to both of us. For my fellow A students, you know I’m also walking or working out first thing and sitting up straight in my chair while typing. When all seems more complicated and overwhelming than I can handle, posture feels like just the kind of control I need. And making my bed, which I’m mostly doing as well.

Okay so this is a check-in to see how you are, so please please tell me. Comment here, hit reply to the newsletter hitting your inboxes shortly, DM me on social media. Supporting each other through change always helps and I’m doubling down on that too.

In fact, I have a special offer for mailing list subscribers to get us all through the fall more confidently — and while being kinder to ourselves — so make sure you sign up now to receive it too.

Now, how are you really, really?